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Somatic Schools - Questions and Kindness

Growing Our Curiosity - Understanding Trauma as a Lack of adequate Loving-Kindness

Growing Our Curiosity - Understanding Trauma as a Lack of adequate Loving-Kindness

Growing Our Curiosity - Understanding Trauma as a Lack of adequate Loving-Kindness

We all learn by encoding information into our brains/bodies.  A traumatic event or system activates the autonomic nervous system (ANS) states of Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn to keep our bodies safe.  If we do not have access to an adequate amount of kindness and support to heal, then our bodies will create traumatic associations based upon the autonomic feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that make our bodies feel safe; even if that safety means harming yourself or others. Understanding trauma is the first step in removing barriers to our curiosity.  Once we understand trauma is not our fault, we might find it much easier to take responsibility.

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Creating Safety to Ask and Respond Honestly - Loving-Kindness Boundaries

Growing Our Curiosity - Understanding Trauma as a Lack of adequate Loving-Kindness

Growing Our Curiosity - Understanding Trauma as a Lack of adequate Loving-Kindness

Once we understand that traumatic symptoms are rooted in a lack of loving-kindness, we can all choose to do our best to change this by creating Loving-Kindness Boundaries.  For example, "I will not allow myself to say unkind things about myself."  Understanding how to activate Loving-Kindness and healthy boundaries in ourselves, others, and the System in which we inhabit, is the second step in helping us all to cultivate our innate curiosity.  Understanding that we are all at different levels of loving-kindness skill, and activating a Culture or System of Loving-Kindness will ensure that everyone has the support they need to do this.

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Somatic Questions - How does this question make My body feel?

Somatic Questions - How does this question make My body feel?

Somatic Questions - How does this question make My body feel?

How does it feel in my body to know that the lack of love and traumatic symptoms I suffered was not my fault?  I feel my muscles in my chest and neck relax, I feel my body take a deep breath, I feel tender.  How does it feel knowing that you can still take responsibility to activate loving-kindness in yourself and others?  I feel activated and encouraged, but also tight in my muscles,  stressed, and fearful of failure.  How does it feel to imagine knowing your entire community is activating loving-kindness? I feel my muscles relax, I feel hopeful, excited, and tender. I feel activated and motivated. I feel like I belong to a caring community .

More Somatic Resources

Somatic Questions - How does this question make My body feel?

Somatic Questions - How does this question make My body feel?

Once everyone has a basic understanding of traumatic events and systems, and agrees to activate loving-kindness solutions, asking better questions and growing our curiosity becomes much easier!  Resources for growing curiosity include the Art of Asking Questions, Creating Somatic Surveys, Somatic Active Listening, and Somatic Responses on a Foundation of Loving-Kindness. In addition, Resources for encouraging healthy relationships and boundaries for each other can be found in Somatic Games.  The PlayNet includes Resources for Activating Loving-Kindness in our Relationship with our Environment.  If your school, business, or community would like additional assistance, then please email the founder, Rebecca Playfair, at somaticschools@gmail.com to arrange an equitable exchange.

Somatic Survey Example

Your Feelings Matter!

Qualtrics Survey pdf.pdf

Curiosity and the art of asking Questions

Spectrums Of Thinking 

This is Great! - Sometimes. An open ended question can sometimes feel like freedom and other times it can feel like a burden.  Consider the Paradox of Choice.  How much freedom feels good to you, and when does too much freedom start to feel like a cage?

This is another example of a Question that might, for some people, feel like Freedom and Fun, and for others feel like a heavy weight.  Why do you think that might be?

Sometimes this is the perfect type of Question, other times there is more that needs to be discovered behind the Yes and No of an answer! Some people who have difficulty with keeping boundaries might say "Yes," when they would really like to say "No," but are afraid that if they do this, then they might not get their needs met.  Some people who have very rigid boundaries, might say "No," when there is an inner longing to say "Yes" if they did not fear getting hurt from saying "Yes."  Certainly, we should always respect a person's answer and not try to push them to change their minds.  And, it might sometimes be okay to ask, "When you say "Yes/No," how does that feel in your body?  

For some people, when someone asks them about themselves, or something they are passionate about, it can open up a flood gate!  Other people might feel awkward talking about themselves or their interests, and quickly put the ball in the other's court again.  Some people might truly love to talk, but are hesitant for many reasons.  What are some ways we might navigate conversations so that everyone gets not only gets a chance to speak and listen, but also feels safe enough to speak and listen? 

If you ask a question and someone pulls back or makes a face, maybe a good quick follow-up question is: "Was that a helpful/interesting/good question I just asked?" You might say "I was wanting to make sure because I saw you make a face..." And the person might feel awkward that you noticed their facial expression, but your genuine curiosity for their well being will come through.  Maybe the person makes that face automatically for some subconscious association to a word in the question, or maybe they think the question is boring.  The less we take it personally, the more helpful our questions might become.

Are Questions what is called for in this moment?  Maybe the cognitive brain needs a rest.  Would you Like to Dance? Make Art? Sing? Play? Create with me? It might be the last question you ask the person because you're both too busy doing something else together. 

Trauma Responsive Questions in the school

Questions may Help us Identify the Barriers to Learning

We All Need – Adequate movement, clean water, nutrition/food, shelter, sleep, affection, socio-emotional support, balanced and adequate brain chemicals/hormones, resources, healthy boundaries, kind/caring community. 


We all need to Feel Safety, Belonging, Importance, Freedom, And Worthy so that we can have Access to our Innate curiosity for learning and discovery! 


And, of course, a child needs to be taught how to improve the Encoding and Retrieval of information (learning how to learn).


Not having access to any of the above Needs = Barriers to Learning


NeuroDifferences and Learning Differences may contribute to how a child self-soothes, encodes or retrieves information, or their capacity to learn certain types of information. So, sometimes fidgeting, distraction, disinterest or boredom with learning may be a result from the educational system failing to adequately meet the needs of children with Differences. 


Hypervigilant Autonomic Nervous System States of Fight/Flight may appear like anxiety, distraction, fidgeting, aggression, outbursts, violence, hyperactivity, avoiding/running away, or panic. And Hypovigilant Autonomic Nervous System States of Freeze/Fawn may appear like zoning out, disinterest, boredom, decreased motivation, decreased participation, depression, lethargy, hypoactivity, or people pleasing behaviors. Sometimes, Lack of Balanced Brain Chemical, Hormones, or Adequate Nutrition can lead to these same behavioral states as well. 


With so Many different Barriers to Learning, How can a Teacher possibly figure out what’s going on?! These Questions are not about figuring out the Right Answer! They are simply to help Guide increased Understanding and Empathy! These Questions are for Teachers to Ask Themselves, not the child.


Fidgets - How can I engage the children’s whole body with the learning experience? Does having the children run/move before the start of class help? If the child/ren take periodic short breaks to move does this help? Does a quiet fidget activity help the child engage with the learning experience? 


Distraction / Zoning Out  – Where does the child’s attention go? Has the child had prior negative experiences with someone in the class?  Is the child going into Freeze due to an autonomic dysregulation or subconscious trigger from the environment?   Is the child bored?


 Boredom/disinterest – is the subject material too easy or is it too hard to understand?  What would increase access to understanding and learning?  Different learning techniques? What can I do to engage everyone in the learning experience?  Maybe the subject is uninteresting to the child? How can I make the child know their interests are important and learning is not simply about memorizing facts from books? If I am being asked to teach to test, knowing this is detrimental to a child's learning, how can I respectfully decline this request?


Disruption – What happened just before, during, or after the disruption occurred? Is the child seeking to move away or toward something? Is the child disrupting to move toward receiving attention, or away from feeling like a failure?  Is there a stressful situation happening with another classmate?   Does the child believe that not trying will protect them from trying and failing? 


How can I increase Safety, Belonging, Importance, Freedom, and Worthiness in my classroom with this class/subject/assignment/test/rule/procedure/topic to decrease barriers to learning?


 Is there an unrecognized neuro or learning difference that I need to accommodate to increase this child's access to learning? 


 Is there a nutritional/hormonal/chemical process happening that is a barrier to learning?  


 Does this child need assistance healing autonomic dysregulation with somatic practices or a somatic therapist?


 How can I demonstrate Unconditional Positive Regard, Empathy, and Kindness to my Students to improve the health, safety, and learning for everyone?  


How Can I show my students that their Interests and Ideas truly matter? 


 How can I make sure every student in my class feels safe to ask and answer questions?  


How can I incorporate Movement into my Class to increase brain-blood activity and generate excitement for learning?


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